The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)
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If you take things personally offer you should read The Four Agreements. This book really helped me understand that people's actions have almost nothing to do with you and more to do with themselves. It's a great read.
> I'm looking out for myself before my toxic ass family
I understand far far too well.
I know it's hard, but if you're willing to trust a stranger, get the book, give it a read. It's like $6 on Amazon. What could it hurt?
Good luck fellow human :)
> Deep Work https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Work-Focused-Success-Distracted/...
> Can't Hurt Me https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Clean/dp/15445078...
> Talking to Humans https://www.amazon.com/Talking-Humans-Success-understanding-...
> Rich Dad Poor Dad https://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Teach-Middle/dp/1612680...
> 4 Hour Workweek https://www.amazon.com/4-Hour-Workweek-Escape-Live-Anywhere/...
> Steve Jobs https://www.amazon.com/Steve-Jobs-Walter-Isaacson/dp/1451648...
> The Design of everyday things https://www.amazon.com/Design-Everyday-Things-Revised-Expand...
> Siddhartha: A Novel https://www.amazon.com/Siddhartha-Novel-Hermann-Hesse/dp/055...
> The Four Agreements https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Fr...
> Rework https://www.amazon.com/Rework-Jason-Fried/dp/0307463745?dchi...
15 Laws of Growth: https://www.amazon.com/15-Invaluable-Laws-Growth-Potential-e...
The Bhagavad Gita: https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Fr...
(Note: grew up Christan in rural Scotland now agnostic chilling in Manhattan, so no religious slants)
I don't think you should join a cult, but the four agreements have become a mantra for me in almost all the relationships I have. And it's a much shorter list than these 12 rules.
It definitely help me understand my interactions with people better:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally 3. Don’t Make Assumptions 4. Always Do Your Best
I so highly recommend [https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/1878424319 Four Agreements) for this aspect of PTSD.
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
For many years, a manifestation of my PTSD was that whenever I'd disagree with someone I flashed back and could hear and feel the slap against the side of my head. I powered through it at the time, but that was suppression, not integration. Those four agreements have started to change my life for the better. If you always do your best, then how can you self-shame?!
For starting your day off on an amazing note, The Miracle Morning is a no brainer.
For raw motivation that will get you pumped up about life and the direction your going, The Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard is essential.
If you're looking for a short but inspiring read, a buddy of mine wrote this book called One Month Willpower .
If you're looking for wisdom that will transform your life, The Four Agreements will deliver.
A book I just finished that I recommend is Way of the Peaceful Warrior . This one is a bit on the entertaining side but a powerful book that will help you to "peel back some of the layers of life." (and not take it so seriously).
Also if you haven't already, I would sign up for Goodreads (www.goodreads.com). It does a couple things for me:
Provides motivation to keep reading everyday through setting goals and seeing what my friends are reading.
Since so many people use it, there are even more reviews than you would find on average on Amazon so you get a better feel for each book before you decide to purchase it.
My first self help book was four agreements
I found the concepts to be sound
If your finding yourself socially awkward i'd recommend How to win friends and influence people Written in the 1930 by dale Carnegie. The concepts are so sound that universities have devoted entire classes on his philosophies