The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
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I did! I've read many books on habit actually, but you're right on the nose in describing the one I'm referencing here. It's called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and its a fantastic read.
The author actually modified a fairly long-standing definition of a habit loop to include some additional detail, and it was the author's definition I am describing here.
Yes, a wonderful book to
With the power of habit, amazing things are possible.
Great book to read while quitting - https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X
The central theme of that book is that people attribute dumb behaviors to things like chemical dependence, when in fact it's a behavioral habit. The classic example from the book is people trying to quit smoking. You kick the physical dependency in a few days - the headaches and irritability go away, but smokers still relapse months or years afterwards. Why? It's because the smoking formed a habit to their brain, and their brain associated good feelings with smoking.
Read the book. But if you don't: Your brain has trained you to feel good when you read the news. You break this habit by replacing the good feeling of reading the news with a good feeling from some other, positive, healthy activity. Example: every time you get a desire to pull out your phone, do 10 pushups instead. You get a little physical exercise, and your brain starts associating positive feelings with positive activities.
Also, why the hell do you have notifications turned on if you're worried about the phone or the news being addictive? It's like asking to have cravings amplified. Turn off badges, notifications, etc. Check it on your own time and terms.
I agree, water is everything. It's what we call a keystone habit. The trick is to identify what's going to help you move the needle the most, and then build that habit for the entirety of the sprint.
It's also helpful if it's stupid easy. If it's easier to do than not deal with the guilt of not doing it, then you have a harder time making excuses. One thing, that takes you five or ten minutes, that if you do every day, will help you create momentum.
Read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Do that before anything. Write out your goals in great details. Consider this book also, for getting things done. I would consider another shroom trip with the exact intention you have here. Sit in silence for a while, journal what you want to change, then trip. 18, however common, is a dangerous time to start depending on stims, and they won't give you wisdom. Especially if you don't have a plan. Sure, you'll probably feel great and may improve for a while, but its so damn easy for it to end up worse. There's countless stories of that. If you do go that route, I strongly believe in the advice that you plan out EXACTLY what you will do before you take stims. Also, hang out with people who are living the way you want to live.
There are some great books out on this stuff.
The Power of Habit: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business https://www.amazon.com/dp/081298160X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Uk-WCbESHTEER
Atomic Habits: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735211299/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Xl-
https://youtu.be/szgoDIkimNU
https://youtu.be/U_nzqnXWvSo
Most, not all, of these other responses are more in line with "why" quit gaming or how to balance it, but your question is HOW did I quit.
So here's the framework, then following that are my personal steps.
Framework 1: If you remove 5 hours of gaming, you don't have to replace it with 5 hours of super productive life habits. I removed 5-6 hours of gaming a day but it enabled me to add 1-2 hours of health/fitness, and some time to eat better, then I slept an hour earlier, etc., but I still dicked around and did useless shit for 2-3 hours of that 5 hours of previous gaming time. It doesn't have to be 1:1 bad habit removal to amazing habit add in. I still sit on Twitch and zone out for an hour or two here and there while I browse the internet, but it's easy to put it down and go to the gym or not wait until I'm starving to eat, which makes it easier to eat better.
Framework 2: Identify your level of addiction. Mine is a proper addiction. I think I can reinstall and play within reason today...for a week...a month...6 months...but at SOME point I fall off the wagon and to the bottom of the well. So I have to legit just straight up accept that I don't have the discipline to play in moderation like other people.
Framework 3: With any habit you have to analyze what it is rooted in. In my gaming habit it was a few things:
1) Anxiety/stress coping. If I go nuts on a 5 hour Path of Exile binge, my brain literally can't process the work worries I have, worrying about the girl I'm dating and the details of that, planning my financials and freaking out about student loans, etc. You get the point. It literally overloaded my mind so that I couldn't relate to anything and then I'd play til exhaustion and pass out. Rinse repeat. Obviously bad sleep. Bad sleep means bad performance at work. Obviously a lack of self-respect because I wasn't in control of my life and was behaving with such avoidance behavior that I was under an avalanche of life.
2) Social community. This one isn't inherently bad but gaming was a way for me to hang and shoot the shit with friends in discord while we played games. Not all the roots of a habit are/have to be bad, BUT in order to replace the habit you have to replace the roots.
3) Quantifiable progress. Leveling up, gearing up, ranking up, all rewarded my left brain tendencies for progress and order.
4) Just fun. Straight up.
So here's what I did...
1) I identified the games that I was most likely to binge. MMOs, endless dungeon crawlers, competitive games. One by one I deleted my accounts and uninstalled. I only was left with games that I could play in bursts for 30-45-60-90 mins at a time (vs. like 4-5-6 hour binges). I would pop on, play a bit, get bored and close them. Or single player games with finite playability I would beat and stop installing new ones. Eventually uninstalled Stream and the like (I'm a PC gamer, the equivalent would be selling your console).
2) I had to make it a point to socialize with friends more, even just a beer after work or something to replace #2 above. And still talk to those gaming friends but only as long as they respected my desire to stop gaming soon.
3) Start going to the gym to address #1 from the framework section above. It really does help with anxiety and stress. It's two steps forward and one back though - you feel great and mentally healthy, then you HAVE to address the shit that was causing you to dive into unhealthy gaming habits to start with..."oh shit my girl sucks and I need to address that"...."oh shit, let me look my student loans in the eyes and address that"....etc. But it's progress and only gets easier.
4) I made a ridiculous Excel spreadsheet for framework #3 above. Weight, rolling 7 day average, mood, sleep tracker, resting heart rate, reading, gaming, even porn, drinking, anything I wanted to be more aware of. In tracking those things I could start managing them and in managing them I got the dopamine reward of leveling up, kill streaks, ranking up, etc.
5) Naturally you will be more confident as you do this - naturally you will seek fun, you will be more comfortable to find other sources of fun. I had wanted to go rock climbing for YEARS. I did it for the first time two weeks ago. It was the most fun I've had in ages.
On my spreadsheet I have had days where I ate like shit or drank or missed days in a row of the gym. Far from perfect. My reading habit hasn't taken hold like I wanted it to. But I'm fucking HAPPIER. And you know what column is PERFECT in my spreadsheet? The gaming one. That's my keystone habit. That's my FIRST domino. Find yours and make incremental, deliberate changes.
Message me if you wanna chat, I got your back.
PS: Read this: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X
Χαιρετώ! Καταρχήν σου εύχομαι να τα καταφέρεις στην προσπάθειά σου. Πέρα από γιατρό, διαιτολόγο,ψυχολόγο πήγαινε και σε κανένα group therapy. Κατά πάσα πιθανότητα θα βρεις και άλλους που αντιμετωπίζουν ίδιο πρόβλημα. Επειδή απ' ότι κατάλαβα η υπερφαγία εμφανίζεται σαν αντίδρασή του εγκεφάλου σου στο άγχος θα πρέπει να κοιτάξεις να διαχειριστείς το άγχος με άλλους τρόπους. Αν σου αρέσει το διάβασμα σου προτείνω αυτό το βιβλίο: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X
Enkleste ja, men velger man alltid den enkleste veien blir man som regel ulykkelig. Du har ingenting å tape på å forbedre deg. Vil anbefale deg å lese litt bøker.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10865206-the-willpower-instinct
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X
https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153
There is a great book about this. The Power of Habit. I recommend it for someone that is trying to understand why you can’t stop doing dumb shit you know is bad for you.
I would use 3% and make sure you work out at least 5 days a week. Then after a month of 3% move down to 2%. one month later, 1% ... keep the workouts up and as your body gets physically stronger, your mind should become more and more disciplined. when you're at 1%, condition your mind to only take 3 hits per day, maybe 9am, 3pm, and before bed time. then do two hits per day and get to 0% nicotine with something like CBD. the workouts will help you basically become disciplined ... and it sounds easier than it actually is. if you can also pick up a good book, that would help. check this book out. you can create reward cues like if you workout, you get to take a rip, or if you finish a few chapters you can rip etc ... eventually wean yourself down and with persistence and community, you will prevail.
update us here on the progress!
I'll second that, and add that porn can be not only an addiction but also a habit, which means that there are hacks you can implement to short-circuit the cue/craving/response/reward cycle that leads to porn consumption and addiction. For example if you notice that you tend to consume porn when you are working alone and feeling lonely (the cue), then when you notice the craving start you can choose a different behavior --- call up someone for a conversation, or just immediately pack up and head to a public space to continue working where you can be around other people.
I highly recommend as a first step to read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and/or Atomic Habits by James Clear ad keep "the pornography habit" in mind when you do. Either of those two books will be of help to you in a larger sense as you progress toward your goals.
This sub has a lot of resources, including what's in the automod response to your post.
I like this book quite a bit https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/081298160X
I think this book talks about it, but I can't recall with certainty. The Power of Habit
I've definitely read a similar hypothesis somewhere if it's not there, and personally I believe it. Nature abhors a vacuum.
That’s great! I don’t know what you think about books, but I recently finished my MBA and we spent a lot of time thinking about our own behavior and the behavior of people we might manage in the future. There’s a couple really life changing books I read, first is the The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are and Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown. Those were and are just great books about how to deal with being a person. She also has a TED talk by Charles Duhigg. He also has a TEDx Talk .
When you said that your conversation about your success gave you the power to stop eating too much, it reminded me so much of what I learned from Brene Brown about the power of vulnerability and really just connecting to yourself and others.
The Effective Engineer
The Power Of Habit
Build positive habits rather than negative habits. Having a personality which likes ha it’s is quite powerful, but obviously if you use it for ‘good’. To understand more about ha it’s and how to change I suggest reading: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/081298160X
I recently read this book and I really enjoyed it too. I followed it with The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. They complimented each other well. https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/081298160X
E.g. teeth-brushing habit: trigger - wake up, action - brush teeth, reward - freshness mint (or other) taste in your mouth. That's basically why a taste was added at all to a toothpaste -- to create a habit loop. Before that teeth-brushing powder/paste was tasteless and resulted in bad sales.
The same habit loop structure is used a lot to change bad habits or to integrate new habits in sports, military, etc. There is a very good book about it by Charles Duhigg:
"The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business"
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081...
Check out these two books, they really changed how I approached learning and really anything that involves time/practice/dedication.
The Power of Habit
Talent is Overrated