People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts

Category: Relationships
Author: Robert Bolton
4.0

Comments

by scns   2021-10-02
The book People Skills by Robert Bolton [0] is great resource for getting better at this IMHO. Big mental note to finish it and really learn those concepts.

First eye opening concept were the 12 roadblocks to communication, divided in three categories:

JUDGING:

1. Criticizing

2. Name-calling

3. Diagnosing

4. Praising Evaluatively

SENDING SOLUTIONS:

5. Ordering

6. Threatening

7. Moralizing

8. Excessive/Inappropriate Questioning

9. Advising

AVOIDING THE OTHER'S CONCERNS:

10. Diverting

11. Logical Argument

12. Reassuring

[0] https://smile.amazon.com/People-Skills-Robert-Bolton/dp/0671...

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by analogmemory   2017-10-24
As an introvert who suffered for years with self-esteem issues I can totally relate with his words. Couple years ago I picked up the book People Skills[1] by Robort Bolton. It helped me look at how I reacted to people and often times shut down and got defensive. Or i would be so locked-up mentally trying to process my emotions I would just stop talking.

I found it's changed me in the way I interact with people now. Especially in highly charged situations like his first example. I find I have the ability to see the words and understand why the other person is being aggressive and to help defuse the situation.

What I learned is that i'll still be an introvert at time but at least I can change how I respond to people. And at times I feel more extroverted than normal :)

[1] https://www.amazon.com/People-Skills-Yourself-Resolve-Confli...