I would say both. If you had to pick one, go with DC. However, there were some things in CC that I didn't find elsewhere. As an example, it focuses on how a lot of people don't realize they're in a poor/tense conversation until it's too late, and it emphasizes the need to develop the skill to become aware of this.
OTOH, CC attempts to prescribe how to behave are pretty poor. I would not focus too much effort on emulating those.
At first read, all 3 sound like fairly different books. A year after I read them, I was going over all the notes I had made for them, and was surprised to find out that all 3 are mostly saying the same things.
Trauma, stress, toxic culture, broken trust, lack of basic respect and dignity for fellow human beings. When citizens do not have physical or psychological safety, we end up in survival mode. We need both to heal from trauma, be innovative, creative, and thrive. We can no longer ignore emotional abuse, emotional neglect, verbal abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, physical neglect. We keep harming each other and then wonder why there are issues. Time to acknowledge the cycles of abuse in our families, communities, and institutions. To wake up from the FOG of denial, stop sugarcoating realty, and face the facts - we are traumatized and need to help each other out, build each other up, support each other. It’s not a competition. We all have to look at ourselves, search out our biases, listen to different perspectives, find our blind spots, deal with our baggage, and heal together. Look for mutually beneficial solutions to our issues. Learn to have Crucial Conversations with each other. We are wired for connection, we need to get back to basics.
Borrow this book at your library: https://www.amazon.ca/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/1469266822
by fraidycat 2019-07-21
The only thing you can control is your own reaction to things. Ignoring him when he's giving you the silent treatment doesn't seem like the best approach, since that's what you're mad at him for doing. For tips on having difficult conversations, I really recommend the book Crucial Conversations. It's a quick read, and you seem like someone who would be able to apply its lessons to other areas of your life, too. Good luck!
by crankylinuxuser 2019-07-21
No, I don't. I work in that very place locally. And I like it.
Sure, we have problems. No place is immune to problems - but its how you deal with them, and how they're addressed.
We've all had Crucial Conversations training, and actually put it to use. We support a work-life balance for real, and not the bullshit claims that are said but never acted on.
This is one of the few jobs that I like showing up day to day. There's shit we can't dismiss because its external to us - but even up to the CEO all support us.
by metabren 2019-07-12
Sorry to hear.
Check out Crucial Conversations (https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-...). It's a framework that I've found immensely helpful.
If interested, I do recommend you read the book, but you can still get something out of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM (it's a summary masquerading as a review).
No, not really. For this specific example, Damore knew the issue is a divisive one. If he didn't, then he does need to have some basic sensitivity training. From what I remember reading, he did acknowledge the issue was contentious. In that respect, there are ways and techniques to have that conversation. What Damore did was not that way. He should have consulted a resource like Crucial Conversations (https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-...) first.
OTOH, CC attempts to prescribe how to behave are pretty poor. I would not focus too much effort on emulating those.
At first read, all 3 sound like fairly different books. A year after I read them, I was going over all the notes I had made for them, and was surprised to find out that all 3 are mostly saying the same things.
As for the authors:
Difficult Conversations: https://www.amazon.com/Difficult-Conversations-Discuss-What-...
Crucial Conversations: https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-...
Crucial Accountability - https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Accountability-Resolving-Expe...
Radical Candor - https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Candor-Kim-Scott/dp/B01KTIEFE...
Boundaries - https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Updated-Expanded-When-Cont...
Trauma, stress, toxic culture, broken trust, lack of basic respect and dignity for fellow human beings. When citizens do not have physical or psychological safety, we end up in survival mode. We need both to heal from trauma, be innovative, creative, and thrive. We can no longer ignore emotional abuse, emotional neglect, verbal abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, physical neglect. We keep harming each other and then wonder why there are issues. Time to acknowledge the cycles of abuse in our families, communities, and institutions. To wake up from the FOG of denial, stop sugarcoating realty, and face the facts - we are traumatized and need to help each other out, build each other up, support each other. It’s not a competition. We all have to look at ourselves, search out our biases, listen to different perspectives, find our blind spots, deal with our baggage, and heal together. Look for mutually beneficial solutions to our issues. Learn to have Crucial Conversations with each other. We are wired for connection, we need to get back to basics.
https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/1469266822/ref=nodl_
Borrow this book at your library: https://www.amazon.ca/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/1469266822
The only thing you can control is your own reaction to things. Ignoring him when he's giving you the silent treatment doesn't seem like the best approach, since that's what you're mad at him for doing. For tips on having difficult conversations, I really recommend the book Crucial Conversations. It's a quick read, and you seem like someone who would be able to apply its lessons to other areas of your life, too. Good luck!
No, I don't. I work in that very place locally. And I like it.
Sure, we have problems. No place is immune to problems - but its how you deal with them, and how they're addressed.
We've all had Crucial Conversations training, and actually put it to use. We support a work-life balance for real, and not the bullshit claims that are said but never acted on.
This is one of the few jobs that I like showing up day to day. There's shit we can't dismiss because its external to us - but even up to the CEO all support us.
Check out Crucial Conversations (https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-...). It's a framework that I've found immensely helpful.
If interested, I do recommend you read the book, but you can still get something out of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM (it's a summary masquerading as a review).
[1] https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-...