You let yourself go, he didn't. If you bought a laptop to watch Netflix and it ran perfectly and then six months down the road it refused to load Netflix, you'd be getting yourself another laptop. This is what he did because you didn't keep your end of the bargain.
I'd highly suggest reading For Women Only . If you drank the feminist kool-aid, you probably also unknowingly disrespected your man; no wonder he pulled away. Men need respect more than they need love. The book is easy to read and I read it in a couple of days. It has chapters on becoming more attractive and infidelity.
You are so welcome. My man is the strong silent type too: he's a lifetime military man!
Create a 'safe space' for him, so that he knows you will listen and most importantly that he knows you will not judge him for revealing his fears. You will be floored when he starts opening up; men carry some pretty heavy burdens. I know my man ties a lot to his masculinity - his job, his body and his social actions (opening doors, etc.). His injury took all that away from him and I don't think women will ever understand how men tie these things, their masculinity, in to the core of their very being. That takes time to heal, sometimes more so than the actual physical injury.
You may also want to check out this book. It's a super easy read, I did so over a weekend: For Women Only
Edit: And about the self care - it's very important! Not only for you yourself, but it also shows your guy that you're not anxious/worried/fretting over him and that you believe in him to pull through.
Men like to be the providers and taking on the responsibility of the finances of the family help them fulfill that role, so says the book. This may be the missing piece to the contentment in your marriage. (Hopefully it is, then you don't have to keep searching!)
Another book that I really liked was For Women Only . There's For Men Only too and the author suggests that the guy read For Women and the woman read For Men and highlight parts that resonate with them and switch books. I've only read the For Women and I believe it has a section about finances too. (Sorry, I read so much that it's difficult to remember the source.) Both the For Women and Empowered Wife are easily read in a few days.
Best of luck!