'I hate you--don't leave me' are a good place to start if you're looking for more information/self-help. I'm 30 and only starting on my BPD journey as well.
The people who give the condition its bad name are the people who make no effort to better themselves and continue pursuing their destructive impulses -- you don't have to be one of them.
You don’t need a BPD diagnosis to benefit from DBT. It’s like any other group therapy - it’s not closed off like AA or NA or something... where you must fit x criteria. My DBT group is a mixture of BPD, EDs, Depression/Anxiety, Bipolar and Addiction.
No idea where you are but I’d suggest contacting your local psych hospital/facility - they will know what’s available or where to point you. I would guess the first port of call would either be to your family doctor for a referral or a self referral to a therapist who participates in DBT.
If you can access it under health insurance or public healthcare pursue it... if it’s there then just keep chipping away to access it. Paying for DBT is expensive...the groups, individual therapy...
Alternatively there are some amazing books that cover it. They are the same skills, the same examples as in group... they’re workbooks not just boring theory encyclopedias.
Lots of people recommend the big green DBT book Nobody knows the name, it’s just the green book. Like the Bible. I’d recommend looking online - it’s floating around out there and available in various formats, I’ve seen it linked in this sub before.
I recommend picking up a copy of the DBT workbook ; it teaches the same kind of exercises you learn in DBT.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance - Google Store
If you cannot afford to purchase the book, please, visit a library to borrow this book. :)
this book doesn't solely deal with self esteem, but that is part of it. I'm still making my way through it myself and I love it, I think most people could really benefit from the skills in this book. I'm getting so much better at being in control of my emotions and how I interact with people.
I have found going through the process of DBT using this workbook helped me to define the activities that cheer me up:
Generally meditation is the thing that gets me most energized to start a new interest or hobby.
Damn, that's rough. I'm really sorry. There's a lot you can do for yourself even if a DBT program isn't available right now, though. McKay et. al.'s DBT Skills Workbook is one of my favorites, really helped me get started. And anything you can do to begin a daily mindfulness and meditation practice can go a long way towards helping you recover. It's helped me tremendously. I like guided meditations and talks on youtube by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Tara Brach.
All the best.
What about one of the DBT skills handbooks? It has sections on emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness skills. For example: https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/1572245131
If you have a good rapport with your current therapist, maybe she would be open to getting a workbook that the two of you could work through together. I've used this workbook. I haven't used this but that is a reputable publisher (New Harbinger) and looks good.
DBT is a very "manualized" treatment; meaning it's standardized and books and workbooks are used. There is a clear structure and process for DBT. All DBT includes the same basic principles. It's pretty standard stuff for a therapist.
DBT was originally conceived by Marcia Linehan as a group therapy model, but it's been adapted to individual therapy. There are specialized training courses in DBT, but as far as I know, any licensed therapist can use the basics of DBT as long as they've done some reading and understand it. You can read more about it on Dr. Linehan's website.
Even if you're not totally convinced of the BPD diagnosis, the skills in DBT are really excellent for emotion regulation, tolerating distress, and relating better to the other people around you.
I would talk to your current therapist and see what she says. She may be willing to do this with you, but she may not. Ultimately, you'll have to rely on her to be the judge of whether or not she feels comfortable working with DBT with you.