The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
Changing thought and behavioral patterns are actually what CBT and DBT therapy were created for. If you don’t want to see a therapist to help you, there’s lots of work books you can do on your own.
It’s proven very effective, it’s actually the most commonly used therapy (though part of that is it’s also quick.)
It’s helped both myself with PTSD/bipolar/social anxiety and my mother who had BPD.
Disclaimer: it’s not fun or easy, but it’s easier than trying to change on your own.
Here’s a really good DBT workbook.
I wish i could help you more.. I deal with a lot by using dbt skills.
The actual book has helped me a lot, but i had found a free pdf version while using the computer. They get uploaded and taken down regularly..
It really helps to retrain your thoughts to not break yourself down. Like if you do the best you can and failed thats okay just dont make yourself feel worse by constantly replaying what could have gone better or why you suck and that youll never succeed. That is literally the key go having a good life; training your mind to acknowledge negative thoughts and actually learning how to replace them with good ones. Everyone knows it yet we all get lost on how to replace the thoughts..like we wont allow ourselves to change them.
If i were yoy i wouldnt stop posting what happens even if you think you know what everyone will say it never hurts to have people remind you that youll get through something and that youre worth something and you deserve to be happy. And it potentially could reach someone who is experiencing something similar and help them or it reaches someone and stops them from getting into a similar situation.
Hey there, we have something in common, I was smoking for the same reason! Weed was great for helping me gain some perspective and turn down the noise in my head and heart, but I want to learn to do that myself, without chemical aid, so here I am. I'm copying some stuff from another comment I made about what is helping me out, in case any of these things might appeal to you:
Meditation - I started using the Headspace app in the mornings, and then meditating independently throughout the day as needed, and it definitely helps to get some perspective on (and distance from) the cravings, the boredom, the self-judgment and other weirdness in my head, etc.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook is really helping me develop skills (in addition to meditating) to deal with life sober, instead of having a smoke or a drink to chill.
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself is great for the philosophy/spiritual side of it. Separating myself from my thoughts and emotions - learning that I am not my anger, my depression, my anxiety, that I am not my obsessive thoughts - is something I need a lot of help with, and this is really hitting the spot.
Also wanted to second the suggestions from others for exercise, that is really helpful for me, too.
Good luck! I believe in you. ��
Sorry for the late response, if you haven't bought any yet this is the one I tried.
and for DBT:
I haven't tried the DBT one, but someone who's anxiety is likely worse than mine, tried it and recommended it to me. It also seems to be the most recommended DBT book on the interwebs.
I recommend it for sure :)
I recommend this book to nearly everyone with anxiety/depression/anger issues. Check it out. Its helped me immensely!
It may feel stupid at first but if you take it to heart, and actually stay committed I promise you'll come out a better person.
You might be able to find a therapist on here that specializes in it: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. I recommend asking if they've used it before, some people say they specialize in all kinds of things but dont actually have experience, and someone who is not experienced with BPD will have a hard time. Mentalizing therapy and Transference-focused therapy are also used for BPD.
Below are links that really helped me, that I sometimes send to people here who don't have easy access to DBT:
A good DBT workbook: https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/1572245131
The book we used in DBT group is Marsha Linehan's DBT skills training book: https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/1572307811
When I was waiting for therapy to start I soaked up as much info as I could in video form on youtube, which I actually found more helpful than DBT in terms of feeling real validation and emotional healing.
I found a torrent of From Chaos to Freedom which is basically Marsha Linehan (creator of DBT) teaching the skills herself. I like her, she’s pretty weird. Here’s a clip: https://youtu.be/Im3aLArs2nc
“If it lasts forever and you think it’s a crisis... it’s your life, it’s not a crisis”
Tons of short videos of experts talking about borderline and DBT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0RQwa3uLto4y2R8Eg1hKTg
This one is full of lectures (many by the same experts) on more specific topics that I really liked:
Also, I posted a thing on splitting a while back that might be helpful, idk: https://www.reddit.com/r/BPD/comments/6hwm5x/my_guide_to_splitting/
Hope this helps :) Sorry for all the links - I was soaking up info like a sponge when I was first diagnosed.
Hey, another UK based bpd girl here. I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time. Mental health services are a fucking joke here. It's all useless under 10 min psychiatrist appointments that you've to wait months for. Then they give you nothing. Or chuck you on another infinitely long waiting list.
You know this of course. Just adding to the pile of people angry at NHS MHS.
I know this isn't immediate help and you need something more intense with actual mental health professionals. But here is a link to a dbt workbook: https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/1572245131
I worked through it with a therapist and it's very good. I know it's hard to do these things by yourself when you're already struggling. I wish I (or the NHS) could do more. But it might help a wee bit or at least be a stopgap until you get the help you need?
Hope things pick up for you soon. Feel free to pm me as well x
You should study up on this subject a bit. I agree throwing meds at mentally ill isn't the best approach. It's marginally successful, so it's what they do. A strapped system where your GP prescribes anti depressants is fucking crazy, in my opinion.
What's sad? A DBT workbook costs only $10, people can do it on their own, and it actually heals people. What doesn't it do? Enrich people. https://toptalkedbooks.com/amzn/1572245131
CBT found just as effective with self study vs with a therapist (in my opinion, and in my area, you counselors are often counterproductive buecause they have their own issue, "rescue mentality" known as a offshoot of covert narcissism.)
The DBT Skills Workbook has clicked with me more than the Burns’ book.