The book is an interesting read, but merely reading it won't do anything. There are one or two exercises per chapter, and you should work on them if you really want to see the benefits.
Also, if you want to do a little test before reading the whole book follow these tips from the intro:
> Three quick tips to boost charisma in conversation: Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences, reduce how quickly and how often you nod, and pause for two full seconds before you speak.
From this summary: https://github.com/mgp/book-notes/blob/master/the-charisma-m...
1. Meditation and specific one at that called - metta meditation. Most of the time issues lies with the fact that we as introverts feel unfulfilled and think something is wrong with us.
But, there is nothing wrong with us. This meditation helps with that and makes you realize that you are fine as they way you are.
2. Tiny habits:
One of the biggest problem for me was that I would wake up one day and barrel ahead trying to be another person. But the problem is you cannot change in a day. So, you try and try and eventually give up.
Then I read about BJ Fogg's research:
It has lots of techniques. So, take it slow. It can take sometime before you see the changes.
YMMV, but putting in the effort to understand and connect with new personalities has greatly improved my life.
in case anyone is interested in doing just that, http://www.amazon.com/The-Charisma-Myth-Personal-Magnetism/d...
As the Time article suggests, a huge part of charisma is being a good listener who genuinely makes a conversational partner feel valued. But being a good listener has many different variations and components. Obviously, there are the mechanical parts such as maintaining eye contact and not speaking over the other person. Then the active listening includes phrasing replies in a way that shows that you're empathetic and have actually heard what they've said. And then there's what you bring to the conversation: are you the kind of person who deeply groks what someone's saying and potentially builds on their thoughts to create something amazing in a conversational moment? Do you naturally exude authority about a subject or in a certain environment? Do you see the big picture in a way that inspires people to take their ideas to you to be told why what they're doing is important? Are you a kind, warm person who people open up to when they fear being judged by others?
Everyone has at least a little charisma. This book helps you find it and develop it.
- The charisma myth: http://www.amazon.com/The-Charisma-Myth-Personal-Magnetism/d...- Make your contacts count: http://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Contacts-Count-Networking/dp...
- Make your contacts count: http://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Contacts-Count-Networking/dp...
This is easy to address, but hard to implement.
Basically, the opinions of others is out of your control. You have to not care about what others think of you. But that's that hard part -- not giving a fuck is easier said than done.
This will take practice. It's not easy to do.
Also, in The Enchiridion, Epictetus talks about not saying to much in public. Some people don't talk a lot -- maybe that's your personality? If it isn't you can learn different social skill stuff which is out of the realm of this sub, but there are other subs for that.
I would recommend these two books:
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The Charisma Myth is especially cool because it gives you psychological tools on dealing with the various negative internal feelings when dealing with social situations.
I just finished this book which has a lot of helpful advice for getting control of your emotions/thoughts and dealing with toxic people. Definitely recommend it.
I have about 10 books on my nightstand that I've started but not finished.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Charisma Myth
The Miracle Morning
The Blind Side
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up (avoid this book)
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships
The Creature from Jekyll Island
A Clockwork Orange
Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play
I've run out of bookmarks at this point.