The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

Category: Business Culture
Author: Olivia Fox Cabane
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by ta1234567890   2020-07-10
This book is not about technical management in particular, but it can help you a lot in understanding and dealing with people better, it's called The Charisma Myth:

The book is an interesting read, but merely reading it won't do anything. There are one or two exercises per chapter, and you should work on them if you really want to see the benefits.

Also, if you want to do a little test before reading the whole book follow these tips from the intro:

> Three quick tips to boost charisma in conversation: Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences, reduce how quickly and how often you nod, and pause for two full seconds before you speak.

From this summary:

by thisisit   2018-11-24
I was in your place and slowly getting better where people actually say that they like interacting and talking with me. What really helped?

1. Meditation and specific one at that called - metta meditation. Most of the time issues lies with the fact that we as introverts feel unfulfilled and think something is wrong with us.

But, there is nothing wrong with us. This meditation helps with that and makes you realize that you are fine as they way you are.

2. Tiny habits:

One of the biggest problem for me was that I would wake up one day and barrel ahead trying to be another person. But the problem is you cannot change in a day. So, you try and try and eventually give up.

Then I read about BJ Fogg's research:

It has lots of techniques. So, take it slow. It can take sometime before you see the changes.

by eartheaterrr   2018-09-12
This is a great comment. I live in Seattle, and I think the Seattle Freeze is largely a tragedy of groupthink. If you want to break out, there are a ton of opportunities to learn about this city and meet interesting people. Here are a couple networks that might help someone get started:

YMMV, but putting in the effort to understand and connect with new personalities has greatly improved my life.

by bluker   2017-08-20
haha exactly

in case anyone is interested in doing just that,

by danmaz74   2017-08-20
My two go-to books on the subject, very complementary to each other, are:

- The charisma myth:

- Make your contacts count:

by undrstndngthmn   2017-08-19

This is easy to address, but hard to implement.

Basically, the opinions of others is out of your control. You have to not care about what others think of you. But that's that hard part -- not giving a fuck is easier said than done.

This will take practice. It's not easy to do.

Also, in The Enchiridion, Epictetus talks about not saying to much in public. Some people don't talk a lot -- maybe that's your personality? If it isn't you can learn different social skill stuff which is out of the realm of this sub, but there are other subs for that.

I would recommend these two books:

  1. The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

  2. How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The Charisma Myth is especially cool because it gives you psychological tools on dealing with the various negative internal feelings when dealing with social situations.

Edit: grammar