The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
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For youth:
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are they two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. (Never give or recommend anything you haven't read yourself!) There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Check out Camp Aranu'tiq. You'd love it.
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. (If you're 18+ by the time they're ready, have them join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ , which is for parents of Trans folks of all ages.) There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), the Gender Odyssey conference, and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Gender Management Service clinic at Phoenix Children's Hospital, the Transgender Center at St. Louis Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you aren't near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your mom should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when she's ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for her there, even if she thinks she's already supportive. On Facebook, she can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, she can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Kids your age and younger do transition, actually. (No, children do not medically transition. There is no medical intervention for prepubescent children. Just for the record.)
Cis boys wouldn't. Not for love nor money would a cis boy transition and spend his life as a girl. Only Trans girls want to do that.
Come hang out on /r/mtf and /r/transgenderteens. :)
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they're supportive from the start. And it's just as important for them to talk to other parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids as it is for you to talk to other Trans folks. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
To find a therapist who actually gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
At 13, you need parental consent to start T. I'm sorry. I was in your shoes eight years ago.
Look to see if there's a group for parents of trans kids in your area. Look hard, not just a google search. Ask any local LGBT groups you can find, or any other trans people you know. If there's none, see if you can get in contact with parents of trans children (adult children count too) who have watched their son go on T and can attest to how helpful it was. Get your parents in contact with these parents.
Offer them other resources too. This book is really helpful in changing parents' minds, I've heard. You also may want to send them articles ( this and this )on the studies published recently about the improved mental health of trans kids who were allowed to transition.
Also, if they are religiously inclined as you say, you could check out the documentary "Call Me Malcolm" for them, which is about a transgender man who is also a seminary student. Just beause your folks are Christian doesn't mean they are and always will be transphobic.
Additionally, if you don't already see a supportive therapist, start seeing one. Your parents may be more likely to listen to an adult professional who backs you up when you say you need to go on T.
Changing your parents' minds takes time, and you have to be patient and not give up. As hard as it is, tell them you love them, frequently.
People aren't going to treat you that differently. I transitioned in high school. There's no huge magic change in how people treat you. Plenty of boys, Trans and cis alike, aren't interested in "boys aren't supposed to have feelings" or whatever other stupid stereotypes. They're still boys, and so are you.
Depends on the shorts. Depends on the jeans. Leggings don't leave anything to the imagination, so obviously yes. Same with tight underwear if you're changing in front of people.
Come hang out on /r/ftm and /r/transgenderteens. :)
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they're supportive from the start. And it's just as important for them to talk to other parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids as it is for you to talk to other Trans folks. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're supportive from.the start. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your family. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're supportive from the start. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're supportive from the start. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
The nice folks at the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, even if you're not near any of those clinics. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Phases end. This isn't ending. Therefore it is not a phase.
This is a more general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.
Phases end. This isn't ending. Therefore it is not a phase.
Remember that "transition is scary and seems daunting" is not why cis people don't want to transition.
Trans with doubts doesn't equal cis.
Trans and terrified doesn't equal cis.
Read The Null Hypothecis and That Was Dysphoria? I think they'll both speak to you a lot.
Forget doubting whether you should transition. Doubt whether you shouldn't transition. What if you regret not transitioning, or not transitioning sooner? (Spoiler: that's way more likely than regretting transition.) Take every scared "what if" question and change "transition" to "not transition". What if, by not transitioning, you screw up the rest of your life? What if you don't transition and you're never happy later in life? What if you don't transition and you regret it? If all those fears can be used against transition, they can equally be used in favor of it.
Don't angst about being 100% sure. You do NOT have to be 100% sure to act on your feelings, and there's loads of non-permanent things you can do. I'm guessing that you think if you come out as Trans you have to do ALL THE TRANSITION THINGS and there is NO GOING BACK and you have to be VERY VERY 110% SURE or else BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN and you will be MISERABLE FOREVER. None of this is true. Transition is a process, not an event. Just do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible in your own skin and in the world as you move through it. That's the entire point; the rest is noise. Transition is not a roller coaster you strap yourself onto. You are in charge. Try stuff out, keep what works, chuck what doesn't. That's really all there is to it. That doesn't mean you have to have surgery or live as a guy or anything else. If you want to be seen as a guy, put yourself into social situations as a guy, whether online or offline. If you want to try binding, try binding (safely!). If you want to try packing, try packing. If you want to try wearing jeans from the men's department, go get a pair of jeans. If you want this or that surgery, go for it. If you want to take hormones, take hormones. If you want to stop taking hormones later, stop taking them. If you want to go back on hormones later still, do that. Etc.
Come hang out on /r/ftm. (Yes, you "qualify". Yes, lots of people there feel just like you do. Yes, I promise.)
Come chat in Yay for Queers too if you want. I think you'd like it there. It's mostly Trans guys and questioning people. It's not a bustling hive of constant chatter, but if you talk, people will respond and be happy to chat with you. :)
This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!
The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD . I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.
Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.
Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)
Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.
Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.
To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.
The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.