Congrats on moving towards recovery! The journey is hard but will be worth it in the end :) Do you have someone you're working with as you progress?
In light of your prior history, might I recommend not calorie counting and trying a more intuitive approach to eating for a while? Calorie counting can become obsessive, as I'm sure you may have encountered either in yourself or in others.
I love the book Intuitive Eating and the accompanying workbook. It was designed to facilitate recovery, though can be used by lots of people to help them have better relationships with food.
It takes time to get there! I would definitely check out this book )that goes into how you can start to identify and honor your body’s hunger and cravings. It definitely isn’t easy and no one is perfect, but it helped me for the first time in my life begin to have a healthy relationship with food.